glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
