This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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