He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
