the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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