Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
