I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
