it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
