every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
