hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
