Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
