i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
