I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
