I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
