Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
