Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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