My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think a kid would responsible me up
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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