He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize