he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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