People with herpes should wear stickers.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
