its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
