If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Drunk is not a location!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
