spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
