oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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