I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think people are normalizing furries
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
