I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
