K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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