I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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