Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think my nap took me to another dimension
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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