I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You left your phone here
Wait...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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