My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize