oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
