come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
