ya dads aren't the best wingmen
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
