no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
