I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
