How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
