I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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