they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
