in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
