we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
