her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
