We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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