Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
