question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
