Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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