she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im holly from the hills drunk
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
