I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
