a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
All I want is dick and wine.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
