you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
