A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
id be glad to
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
