I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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