can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
