hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
