I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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