Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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