I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
