Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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