I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
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a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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